Introduction

 

Leaving a legacy.

 

Outline:

-         The heart of prayer

-         Barriers to prayer

-         Turning points in a man’s prayer life

-         Praying for your wife

-         Praying for your children

-         Praying for yourself

-         A power tool for prayer

-         Prayers for a busy man

 

Inspiring story as a father:

Mike Piazza (Dodgers 1988). Was drafted number 62 pick – no abundance of natural talent or speed. Great decision by Lasorda. Particular season he was hitting .363 at mid-season, 24 HR, 63 RBI - 4^th All-Star game. He credits success to his relationship with father. Vince P. had great faith in him, sacrificed for him and prayed and prayed for him to succeed.

 

During Sermon on the Mount (Matt 5:3) Jesus said – “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom in heaven” – how blessed that know their need of God. Very comforting.

Secret to security in life is not work harder or be wealthier, but realize our need for God – that He is the one that can provide everything.

 

Communion (unity, spiritual union, close association) with God is heart of prayer. Not about “getting it right”. Once we realize how much we need God, is a good starting place to becoming the man God wants us to be.

 

"I will give them a heart to know me."   - Jeremiah 24:7

"Only God can touch our hearts and give us the desire to seek and to know Him, and to want His will & plans & ways above our own:

 

No need for eloquence. It’s a personal conversation with God. Talking to God on behalf of our wife and children.

 

3 basic truths about prayer:

1)      won’t become normal unless we set aside time

2)      prayers are simple, brief, and honest

3)      prayer can become more real to us the more we practice

 

Lincoln’s experiences. Prayers were simple and with humility. Never considered a man of piety but huge burden of Civil War brought him back to prayer

 

Pg 34 – comment by Lincoln

 

Before knowing how to pray, we need to understand what prayer is. Prayer is keeping company with God – enjoyment of living out a friendship with God. Simply experiencing presence of God

** Some get caught up in the methods instead of the essence of prayer.

 

2 views of prayer:

1)      longtime relationship between 2 old friends

2)      relationship between young man and his mentor

** prayer is companionship – Jesus said “Men ought to always pray”.

3 components of relationship with God:

1)      Gratitude. Thanks for hearing prayers and consider the past 24 hours and all blessings given

2)      Honesty. About our own lives. It’s confession and repentance – and re-dedicating our lives. Admit our need for forgiveness above all else. Consider our conversations, manners, attitudes, and what place God took in our lives. (pg 47 – prayer of confession). ** most important is what is happening in our heart. “In prayer, it’s better to have the heart without the words, than it is to have the words without the heart”.

3)      Listening. Learning to listen to God.
How does God speak to us?

a.       Scripture

b.      Wise counsel of a friend

c.       Circumstances and experiences

d.      Sense of peace when considering a difficult decision

 

** We learn about prayer BY praying.

 

1)      Doubt – story about tavern owner – pg 53

2)      Busyness

3)      Strained relationships

4)      Wrong actions – things displeasing to God

 

Prayer can be awkward for men:

1)      isn’t objective

2)      can be frustrating

3)      hard to focus

4)      admitting we need help

Create a plan to overcome the personal barriers

-         establish a habit

-         set a time and place and BE there

-         pray together as a family at a regular time

-         author uses example of bring his wife a cup of coffee every morning at 6:30 and they pray 10 minutes together.

-         Commit to a time and place to meet our Heavenly Father

-         Possibly participate in men’s fellowship or prayer group

 

1)      Prayer is real. “You have not because you ask not”. Author and wife listed some prayers during engagement. They forgot about list. Found it 25 years later. Were overwhelmed to see that one of prayers was to have twins. That prayer was answered 10 years after they were married

2)      Discovering God as your Father in Heaven.

3)      Keep on asking. Persistence.

4)      Learning to pray in Jesus’ name. Not a blank check. Think of it as a letter written to God – would Jesus sign His name to it. Not to presume or demand or bargain. Would Jesus agree with prayer and my attitude.

5)      It’s okay if you don’t know how to pray. Pg 78 is good. Sometimes we can sit desolate and wordless before God, but know He is caring for our family.

 

 

Key way to serve and do

List needs, questions, and concerns

Spend time together so you know what’s going on in her life

Look for purposes, patterns, and priorities in her life

Distinguish between day-to-day and long-term needs

Consider these questions:

1)      What concerns is she most aware of

2)      What issues of character is she struggling with

3)      Other relationships she needs God’s help with

4)      Responsibilities she is dealing with

 

Using scripture to pray – pg 91-93

 

1)      Start small and keep simple

2)      Be brief – be natural – don’t try to be religious

3)      Talk to God with your wife present – thank God for blessings and answers to prayer – confess and ask forgiveness

4)      Pray for your wife’s husband

a.       what does my wife need in me

b.      what qualities does she need exhibited in you

c.       Then pray to God to help develop those qualities ** prayer on pg 95

5)      Pray about the things you dislike in her. It’s no accident you are married to her and she is the way she is. No one is perfect. Reference author’s example of his wife’s ability to come up with sermons. Special prayer on pg 97. Pray for weaknesses and failures of people close to us – they teach us more how to be like Jesus; patient, forgiving, loving, etc.

 

May be the most important things as fathers that we do.

Become a praying dad

Start early

Pray with them at bed time

Don’t sugar-coat and make God look like Santa or as miracle-dispenser. Teach that He can say yes, no, or wait.

Show them prayer is important

Praying FOR things is OK, but also pray thanks when He answers or blesses

 

A wise father will:

1)      Ask a few questions

2)      Then listen

3)      Don’t lecture, correct, or preach

4)      Then pray and help lift burdens of the day and re-focus your child’s spirit and mind on God

 

Author and his wife take an August overnight trip alone right before school starts and discuss each child.

Then they ask each child to sit alone and think about different areas of life – school, sports, friends, church – and share personal hopes, dreams, concerns, and needs

 

3 simple principles

1)      Don’t do for your child what they can do for themselves.

2)      Provide for needs as best we can as fathers – doesn’t mean we can give them everything

3)      Ask God to do the things we can’t

 

Shouldn’t be avoided because it appears to be selfish

Even Jesus sought Heavenly Father’s help and guidance

Pray in humility – we want to become Godly men and servants of our family. Prayer helps us center our lives in God

 

Specific, practical guidelines to help pray for yourself and centering your life in God:

 

 

Power tools for prayer
(simplest tools are the best kind)

-         prayer notebook

-         Bible

 

Helps organize your thoughts – so many things to remember

Simply an aid to help make it easier

Many options – use whatever works best for you

 

1)      Divided notebook – one section for each day of the week – plus a daily section

2)      Photographs – helps to concentrate on a person praying for more intently

 

Author organizes this on family vacation – usually Labor Day – after family has considered needs and goals

 

Just make these and your ideas work for you

 

Find a pattern – the author’s pattern for his morning prayer time is:

-         recall events and circumstances of the last day – and give thanks

-         self-examination – considers the sins made

-         consider the day ahead and main demands

-         commit self to care and direction

-         pray for wife and each child and any special concerns for them – parents and siblings too

-         refer to prayer notebook daily section and specific day of the week

-         read some scripture

 

Other benefits of a prayer notebook

-         becomes a record of your spiritual journey and the awesome acts of God

-         becomes a cherished record of your family’s lives for children in future – a spiritual heritage for your family

 

Prayer is more than asking and getting – much about growing in personal relationship with God

Learning to pray is like going on a journey or adventure

Initial prayers are simple pleas for help

Many who are just starting a routine will be comfortable with using simple written prayers (pg 129)

 

***An invitation from God to come to Him in prayer – pg 130-132

An anonymous writing, but powerful expression of how God sees us and what He would say to us

 

Characteristics of true prayer:

1)      Honesty and humility

2)      In need – Dietrich Bonhoeffer – pg 135

3)      Ask for forgiveness

4)      Personal dedication – commitment to God and His purpose

 

 

Suggest reading book or notes and reflect and ask yourself “How do I want to grow in my prayer life”.

 

Hand out prayer cards as gifts